The stories we tell ourselves are so, so important these times
Writing is my super power, yet I can’t find the right words to tell you how badly this pandemic has affected me and my family. I am going to be totally honest with you here.
My business has suffered immensely, my little girl has gone from being a three-years-old to being a cranky baby and my husband is the only one providing for our family, being a key worker. Thank God we are all healthy! All of us, including my mum, who is in quarantine in Italy. But everything else has gone upside down. And I know for sure things have changed for you too. If not dramatically, at least to the point where you can’t recognise your schedule anymore.
Ok, now let’s go the point. In all this craziness and insecurity, we have time. Or, at least, it seems like we do. Being parents, though, changes things a little bit, but we still have lots of time we’re doing our best to spend wisely, right?
I can see so many people giving advice on how to learn new things, expand our knowledge, do more yoga, connect with ourselves, be one with our minds and so on. Yet, we can’t do any of these, or at least a large part of them. In all honesty, there are days when I feel utterly drained and I can barely play with my daughter, not to mention yoga and meditation.
The point is, we’ve gotten to a point where guilt is our worst enemy. Not the Coronavirus, not the self-isolation, not the global economy collapse. But personal guilt. I have even seen somebody on Social Media calling everybody who isn’t getting out of this pandemic wiser and more connected with the inner self as being a “failure.” Which is a total disgrace if you ask me.
There are days when even surviving is a total victory. We need to show more empathy, love and forgiveness towards ourselves. I think this is how we are going to survive this horrible time of our lives. And putting so much pressure on our shoulders is only fuelling that internal doubt, is feeding that “black wolf” inside of us that’s getting stronger and stronger.
We have time, yes, we do. And it’s so, so important to spend it however it makes us feel good and happy. And stop telling ourselves false stories about being a bad parent, spouse or friend. We might even let ourselves get dragged by past experiences and dig deep into long-forgotten memories. All of the sudden, we lose grip of the present and get to live past experiences – good or bad. Anything, just to keep our minds busy.
I get it. We feel the need to fill the present with anything but the reality, which is sometimes unbearable, especially if we look at the numbers of sick and dying people. And I know, trust me I know. I binged on “The Blacklist” for an entire week until I knocked out all 7 seasons. One season has 24 episodes, 40 minutes each. You do the math on how much time I wasted, just so that I could take my mind off what’s happening.
But this is not a story I want to tell my grandchildren. This is definitely not a story I want to tell myself! You see, the thing is, the more you tell yourself a story – either true or false – the more power it has over you. And it will eventually become your reality.
Please don’t feed yourself with stories of how bad you are or how disappointed your loved ones might be if they new that you are barely hanging on there. Especially if you’re a parent, working from home, trying to educate your kids, while still keeping your house clean, your mind sane. The stories we tell ourselves are so, so important these times! Your brain can’t tell the difference between what you’re imagining and what’s real. So if you’re daydreaming, let them be beautiful dreams. Deal?